Has anyone ever correctly identified the finale on their first try?
"Ok, seriously, this time. This has to be the finale...".
Unless you're a little bit afraid of catching on fire, you're not close enough.
Have we reached a plateau in fireworks technology? It's always the same explosions. You've got your big, round, colorful ones and you've got your pixie-dust looking ones and the ones that looks like comets shooting out from the middle, but every year it's the same. Shouldn't we be able to make them explode in the shape of a bald eagle by now? Or one that explodes to look like a canon shooting out yet another firework set to the 1812 Overture? That would be cool.
Speaking of the 1812 Overture, it really should be playing during every fireworks show.** I mean, come on America.
It's just not satisfying unless you feel slightly concussed after every explosion.
Instead of having an hour's worth of sporadic, mediocre explosions and then a five-minute finale, can't we just have one, continuous, brain-meltingly awesome, fifteen-minute finale?
On the Fourth of July, I think all the fire-trucks on their way to put out the fires started by rednecks with contraband explosives and the ambulances carrying people with missing hands should all play patriotic music instead of their sirens. Just for the day. Just to lighten to mood. Like an ice-cream truck but with maimings.
** The 1812 Overture was written by a Russian to commemorate a Russian victory and has nothing whatsoever to do with the American Revolution.
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