Scary Movies (re-post)

The other day*** I went to see 'Scream 4' with my sister, Lara, and we both agreed that it was just as stupidly entertaining as we hoped it would be.  This lead me to wonder what it is about the 'Scream' franchise that I love so much.  

'Cause, in all seriousness, I totally love these movies.  Even the one where they kill Randy.

(Which left me distraught for days when I was in high school and is forever linked in 
my memory to the song 'Good Riddance' by Green Day because 
only that song could truly express my melancholy over the matter... )

Obviously these movies hold some kind of nostalgic value to me.   When the first movie came out on VHS, Lara and I literally watched it every day after school.  To the point that we could recite, line for line, the entire opening scene where Drew Barrymore gets gutted.

But why the obsession??  I mean, it's basically just a movie about a bunch of pretty, young people getting stabbed to death. 

Even as I write this I'm still not sure I get it.  I'm basically hoping that I'll figure it out by the time I finish.

I think a major factor is that 'Scream' fits in to the category of horror movies that I can enjoy on the least threatening level.

You can pretty much break down all horror movies into three categories: Slasher Flicks, which 'Scream' would fit in to, Ghost Stories, which would include things like 'The Sixth Sense' and 'Paranormal Activity', and Gore Porn, which is represented best by the 'Saw' franchise.

I'm sure there are movies that don't fit in to those categories, but whatever, shut up and let me finish.

Anyways, I enjoy two of those categories for different reasons and one category can go fuck itself.

Why did I Google Image Search
'Ghosts'?  I must be some kind
of masochist.

Ghost Stories I enjoy.  But only in a well lit room.  And only when I know I won't be spending the night in a house all by myself.  These include basically any movie with a supernatural, ambiguous force that I can't comprehend and wouldn't know how to fight against.  They scare the ever-loving shit out of me.  And when I get scared I cry.  Just watching the so-called 'ghost-sighting' videos on Youtube makes me cry.  Right now?  Just thinking about it?  I'm tearing up a little.  I might not sleep tonight. 

What the hell is wrong with you people?

Gore Porn movies should not exist and even if you paid me I would not watch one.  In fact, the idea that people pay money to watch people get horribly mutilated makes me want to vomit, cry and punch someone all at the same time.

Slasher Flicks I like because if they're good, they can make me jump and get a little adrenaline rush but I'll still sleep soundly that night.  I can watch them over and over.   

And some people might say it's stupid of me to be scared of something that doesn't exist, like ghosts (or do they?) but not of a human being with a knife who could kill me.   But to that I say, if I kick a human being in the balls I know he'll go down, but would a ghost?  Who knows??

Also, Slasher Flicks tend to have hot guys in them and the good ones have some witty dialogue.

*** quite a few months ago at this point.