Fangirling

I have a tendency to obsess about things like TV shows and movies and books sometimes. You may have noticed that about me.  The obsessions are intense but usually fleeting.  The love remains but the infatuation fades.  I'm currently coming down from the high of my most recent manic episode which was focused on Doctor Who.

In the break before my next flare up, I'd like to take this opportunity to acknowledge the fact that I am incredibly annoying when I'm like this.  I know it.  It may not seem like it but I even annoy myself.

It's not so much the fact that my capacity to re-watch the same movie or TV show without getting bored can only be matched by a toddler.  I'm fine with that.  

What's irritating to me and to, I'm sure, everyone around me is that I am never content to love something this much by myself.  I have to include everyone.  Whether they like it or not.

And I know I'm not the only person with this affliction.  It's called being a geek.  It's how we roll.

But I feel it's maybe a little like knowing you have a mental disorder.  You know what's wrong with you but you can't stop it.  You know that voice in your ear isn't real.  You know that nothing bad will actually happen if you don't turn the doorknob three times.  

You know no one really cares why David Tennant is the best Doctor.  

Way better than Christopher Eccleston.   

Way better.

Matt Smith is pretty good, but he's no Tennant...

... what was I talking about?  Oh right.  You know no one wants to hear about it but you just. can't. NOT. talk about it.

Sometimes I actually find myself only half-listening to what someone is saying to me because I am waiting and desperately hoping they will say something that in some way relates to the thing I'm fixated on.


"You're studying criminal psychology?  That's so interesting.  Have you ever watched Criminal Minds?"

"That's an good point you make about the war in Iraq...  'The cost of wearing the uniform can be high.'... Commander Adama said that once... on Battlestar Galactica... "

"Sure, I could go for some onion rings.  You know what's kind of like an onion ring?  A bloomin' onion.  You know who loved bloomin' onions?  Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer."

It's a problem.  I know.  And I'm sorry.  

To each every one of you out there who has had to put up with me not taking 'No I don't want to watch Star Trek again' for an answer.  I am sorry.

Just please take comfort in the fact that this is me showing restraint.

And this is what I'm actually feeling: